INTO THE BREACH
An Apostolic Exhortation to Catholic Men, my Spiritual Sons in the Diocese of Phoenix
+Thomas J. OlmstedBishop of Phoenix
See https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=3Sv4NP_aJaA - an introductory video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_BMVNzFF_o - an Interview of Bishop Olmsted
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gwfw9ebGonQ - as an audio book.
https://www.kofc.org/un/en/resources/programs/into-the-breach/10683-into-the-breach-study-guide.pdf - a Knights of Columbus Study Guide
https://www.kofc.org/en/campaigns/into-the-breach.html - Knights of Columbus Into the Breach Video Series
https://www.kofc.org/en/resources/faith-in-action-programs/faith/into-the-breach/11059-into-the-breach-video-series-study-guide.pdf - Knights of Columbus Into the Breach Video Series Study Guide
An Apostolic Exhortation to Catholic Men, my Spiritual Sons
in the Diocese of Phoenix
+Thomas J. Olmsted
Bishop of Phoenix
Bishop of Phoenix
“And I sought for a man among them who should build up the
wall and stand in the breach before me for the land…”
Ezekiel 22:30
wall and stand in the breach before me for the land…”
Ezekiel 22:30
A
Call to Battle
The
Most Rev. Thomas J. Olmsted is the bishop of the Diocese of Phoenix. He was
installed as the fourth bishop of Phoenix on Dec. 20, 2003, and is the spiritual
leader of the diocese’s 1.1 million Catholics.
I begin this letter with a clarion call and clear charge to
you, my sons and brothers in Christ: Men, do not hesitate to engage in the
battle that is raging around you, the battle that is wounding our children
and families, the battle that is distorting the dignity of both women and men.
This battle is often hidden, but the battle is real. It is primarily spiritual,
but it is progressively killing the remaining Christian ethos in our society
and culture, and even in our own homes.
The
world is under attack by Satan, as our Lord said it would be (1 Peter 5:8-14).
This battle is occurring in the Church herself, and the devastation is all too
evident. Since AD 2000, 14 million Catholics have left the faith, parish
religious education of children has dropped by 24%, Catholic school attendance
has dropped by 19%, infant baptism has dropped by 28%, adult baptism has
dropped by 31%, and sacramental Catholic marriages have dropped by 41%.[1] This
is a serious breach, a gaping hole in Christ’s battle lines. While the
Diocese of Phoenix may have fared better than these national statistics,
the losses are staggering.
One
of the key reasons that the Church is faltering under the attacks of Satan is
that many Catholic men have not been willing to “step into the breach” – to
fill this gap that lies open and vulnerable to further attack. A large number
have left the faith, and many who remain “Catholic” practice the faith timidly
and are only minimally committed to passing the faith on to their children.
Recent research shows that large numbers of young Catholic men are leaving the
faith to become “nones” – men who have no religious affiliation. The growing
losses of young Catholic men will have a devastating impact on the Church in
America in the coming decades, as older men pass away and young men fail to
remain and marry in the Church, accelerating the losses that have already
occurred.
These
facts are devastating. As our fathers, brothers, uncles, sons, and friends fall
away from the Church, they fall deeper and deeper into sin, breaking their
bonds with God and leaving them vulnerable to the fires of Hell. While we know
that Christ welcomes back every repentant sinner, the truth is that large
numbers of Catholic men are failing to keep the promises they made at their
children’s baptisms – promises to bring them to Christ and to raise them in the
faith of the Church.
This
crisis is evident in the discouragement and disengagement of Catholic men like
you and me. In fact, this is precisely why I believe this Exhortation is
needed, and it is also the reason for my hope, for God constantly overcomes
evil with good. The joy of the Gospel is stronger than the sadness wrought by
sin! A throw-away culture cannot withstand the new life and light that
constantly radiates from Christ. So I call upon you to open your minds and
hearts to Him, the Savior who strengthens you to step into the breach!
Purpose of this Exhortation
I
offer this Exhortation as an encouragement, a challenge, and a calling
forth to mission for every willing man in the Diocese of Phoenix: priests
and deacons, husbands, fathers and sons, grandfathers and widowers, young men
in preparation for your vocation – that is, each and every man. With
this Exhortation, I want to clarify for you the nature of this mission from
Christ, for which I will rely on the clear guidance of the Holy Scriptures, the
Magisterium of the Church, and the example of the saints.
In
this Exhortation, I will address three primary questions:
Before
addressing these three basic questions, it is important to put them into proper
context. In the following section, I will explain three important contexts
that help us understand the main questions.
Context
#1: A New Apostolic Moment – The “New Evangelization”
First,
a new apostolic moment is upon us at this time in the history of the Church.
The Holy Spirit is bringing about what recent popes have termed the “New
Evangelization.” By evangelization, we mean the sharing of the Gospel of
Jesus Christ by all means available, such as preaching, teaching, witnessing a
fruitful and faithful family life, living celibacy for the sake of God’s
Kingdom, employing media and other arts placed at the service of the Gospel.
And what is new? The newness of our times is this: in the West, we find
ourselves in the midst of competing cultures, particularly in cities and
neighborhoods where the Gospel once permeated quite deeply. Jesus Christ’s
Great Commission (Matthew 28: 16-20) to go out to the whole world and share the
Good News has already happened where we live! This permeation of Western
culture was once so deep that in a sense, it became part of the soil, and we
still stand on that soil in certain ways.
It is evident in current assumptions
about life, which come directly from the Greco-Roman-Judeo-Christian framework;
assumptions regarding “fairness”, “equality”, “virtue”, “human dignity”,
“compassion”, “representative government”, “the Golden Rule”, the “Ten
Commandments”, the “hospital”, the “university”, and other clearly positive
developments in the history of civilization. All this is our patrimony and
inheritance from our spiritual ancestors. We find ourselves standing on this
rich soil, where blessings are many because the Gospel has been taught here,
received in faith, and put into practice.
Yet,
at the same time, termites are hard at work in this soil. Here, in the
developed desert of Arizona, we know termites well. Homebuilders know that no
home built in our climate is entirely immune from these hungry, subterranean insects.
Likewise, no culture – deeply Christian though it may be – is immune to the
corruption of half-truths and hidden sin. Many fruits of our Christian heritage
still exist, but the roots below the soil are under siege. Much about our
culture remains good and must be preserved, but it would be foolish to ignore
the current and growing trends that threaten the remaining good, and dangerous
to risk squandering the patrimony with which we have been blessed.
The
answer and only ultimate solution is the New Evangelization of which we speak.
Pope St. John Paul II, with whom I was blessed to work closely for nine years
and who has inspired many men, reminds us of this needed response: “There is no
solution to the social question apart from the Gospel.”[3]
With this Exhortation, I gladly make his words my own; there is no solution to
our cultural decline apart from the Gospel of Jesus.
This
is daunting, perhaps, but surely an adventure. In the Book of Revelation, the
Lord Jesus tells us, “Behold, I make all things new” (21:5) – that all things
old and tired, sinful and broken, are renewed in his Incarnation, death, and
Resurrection. Could this possibly be true? The answer is a resounding Yes!
A true Catholic man stakes his whole life on this proposition – that all is
made new in Jesus Christ. Our Lord has promised that He is and will always be
with us. Thus, Catholic men across the centuries have responded to the call to
enter the battle, ever ancient and ever new, and I have confidence that you
will respond alike to fill the breach in our time. Be confident! Be bold!
Forward, into the breach!
Context
#2: A Field Hospital and a Battle College
In
his homilies, Pope Francis has described the Church today as “a field hospital
after battle” – a constant source of mercy in order to endure and overcome
wounds that we all bear. The Church is also the powerful source of Truth to
heal men and prepare them to battle another day for Christ. Here in Phoenix as
elsewhere, the Church is finding – though must redouble its efforts to find –
the paths to healing for ourselves and the means to care for others who, like
us, bear the mark of the Fall in debilitating ways, whether these wounds be
physical or spiritual (addiction to pornography, alcohol, drugs, food, broken
marriages, fatherlessness, and troubled family life). Our time calls for a
renewal of the Church’s genius for physical and spiritual healing, given to her
by the Holy Spirit. As Pope Francis says, the wounded are all around us, and
“it is useless to ask a seriously injured person if he has high cholesterol and
about the level of his blood sugars. You have to heal the wounds.”[4] At the
same time, the proclamation of the fullness of truth found in the Catholic
Church is essential. This leads you, men, to live lives where sins do not cause
festering wounds. Through Christ’s mercy and truth, we are healed and
revitalized for battle. In Christ’s mercy and truth, we become strong in his
strength, courageous with his courage, and can actually experience the joie
de guerre of being soldiers for Christ.
Since
the Church as “field hospital” after battle is an appropriate analogy, then another
complementary image is appropriate for our day: the Spiritual Battle College.
The Church is, and has always been, a school that prepares us for spiritual
battle, where Christians are called to “fight the good fight of faith” (1
Timothy 6), to “put on the armor of God”, and “to be able to stand firm against
the tactics of the devil” (Ephesians 6:11).
Ever
since Jesus chose the Twelve Apostles, formed them in his presence, and sent
them out in his Name, He has continued to choose and form men through his
Church and to send them out to the wounded. This is the meaning of the word apostle
– men who are sent. With this letter, then, my sons and brothers, I urge you to
heed Jesus’ call and to let him form your mind and heart with the light of the
Gospel for the purpose of being sent. That is why this letter is an apostolic
exhortation. I am hereby exhorting you to step into the breach – to
do the work of Christ’s soldiers in the world today.
Context
#3: Man and Woman are Complementary, not Competitors
The
complementarity of masculinity and femininity is key to understanding how human
persons image God. Without knowing and appreciating this, we cannot know
ourselves or our mission as men, nor can women embrace their own vocations,
confident in the Father’s love.
Men
and women are certainly different. Science increasingly deepens our
understanding of this difference. Up until recently, we had little idea of the
complex workings of hormones, chemical reactions, and the brain differences
present in boys and girls, men and women, all in response to the presence of
the XX or XY combination of chromosomes present at conception. For example, the
significantly greater amount of corpus callosum (the connective nerve
fibers between the two sides of the brain) in the average woman is a
fascinating discovery, as is the way the male brain is typically more segmented
in its functions. Studies show that on average, infant girls will look at the
face of a silent adult twice as long as infant boys, more interested in the
person by God’s design.[5] All these
biological facts discovered by science add to our knowledge of the symphony of
complementarity between man and woman, something at which we rightly wonder and
in which we rejoice when we encounter the beauty of the sexual difference.
This
difference is also a challenge, since misunderstanding can creep in and sin can
cause us to lose respect for one another, robbing us of our hope for peaceful
and fruitful collaboration between men and women. But this struggle between the
sexes is not the fault of God’s creation; it is the result of sin.
Pope Francis
puts it this way: Man
and woman are the image and likeness of God. This tells us that not only is man
taken in himself the image of God, not only is woman taken in herself the image
of God, but also man and woman, as a couple, are the image of God. The
difference between man and woman is not for opposition, or for subordination,
but for communion and procreation, always in the image and likeness of God.[6]
Alongside
this struggle, the rapid advance of a “gender ideology” has infected societies
around the world. This ideology seeks to set aside the sexual difference
created by God, to remove male and female as the normative way of
understanding the human person, and in its place, to add various other
“categories” of sexuality. This ideology is destructive for individuals and
society, and it is a lie. It is harmful to the human person, and therefore, a
false concept that we must oppose as Christians. At the same time, however, we
are called to show compassion and provide help for those who experience
confusion about their sexual identity. This confusion is not unexpected when
the poison of secularism reaches such critical levels: “When God is forgotten,
the creature itself becomes unintelligible.”[7]
The
damaging impact of this “gender ideology” on individuals and society was
addressed at length this year by Pope Francis:
I
ask myself, if the so-called gender theory is not… an expression of frustration
and resignation, which seeks to cancel out sexual difference because it no
longer knows how to confront it. Yes, we risk taking a step backwards. The
removal of difference in fact creates a problem, not a solution. In order to
resolve the problems in their relationships, men and women need to speak to one
another more, listen to each other more, get to know one another better, love
one another more. They must treat each other with respect and cooperate in
friendship.[8]
As
Pope Francis reminds us all to “love one another more,” I exhort you, my sons
and brothers in Jesus Christ, to embrace more deeply the beauty and richness of
the sexual difference and to defend it against false ideologies.
Having
now established the contexts in which to understand the questions addressed in
this Exhortation, I will now respond to the above-stated questions themselves.
Question
1: What does it mean to be a Catholic
Man?
Ecce Homo
– Behold the Man
Every
man, particularly today, must come to a mature acceptance and understanding of
what it means to be a man. This may seem obvious, but in our world, there are
many distorted images and much evidence of confusion regarding what is true
masculinity. We can say that for the first time in history, people have become
either so confused or so arrogant as to attempt to dictate their masculinity or
femininity according to their own definitions.
At
one striking moment of Jesus’ trial, Pontius Pilate, with all his worldly
power, presented Jesus to the crowd with the words, Ecce homo – Latin
meaning “Here is the man!” Thinking he was merely pointing to a man from
Nazareth, he failed to recognize that he was pointing to God made man –
the Word made flesh, Jesus of Nazareth – who at once is fully God and fully
man, and the perfection of masculinity. Every moment of his life on earth is a
revelation of the mystery of what it means to be man – that is, to be fully
human and also, the model of masculinity. Nowhere else can we find the fullness
of masculinity as we do in the Son of God.
Only in Jesus Christ can we find the
highest display of masculine virtue and strength that we need in our personal
lives and in society itself. What was visible in Christ’s earthly life leads to
the invisible mystery of his divine Sonship and redemptive mission. The Father
sent his Son to reveal what it means to be a man, and the fullness of this
revelation becomes evident on the Cross. He tells us that it was for this
reason that He came into the world, that it is his earnest desire to give
himself totally to us.[9] Herein
lies the fullness of masculinity; each Catholic man must be prepared to give
himself completely, to charge into the breach, to engage in spiritual combat,
to defend women, children, and others against the wickedness and snares of the
devil!
Looking
to what the secular world holds up as “manly” is in fact to look at shadows –
or even at outright counterfeits – of masculinity. No athlete, no matter how
many awards; no political leader, no matter the power he wields; no performer,
business man, or celebrity, no matter how much adored; no physical attribute or
muscle mass; no intelligence or talent; no prizes or achievements can bestow
masculinity on a man. The idolatry of celebrities at this time is a particular
temptation, but to build one’s masculine identity on such fleeting models is to
build an identity on sand. My Catholic sons and brothers, we can only build a
certain foundation for masculinity on the rock, Jesus Christ. We look to our
Savior to be transformed in Him, to be the men we are called to be, and to let
others see Him in us.
Yet
we do not merely look to Jesus. We truly encounter Christ at Mass
when we receive the very gift of Himself in the Eucharist. For this
reason, I call upon my brother priests to awaken the sense of transcendence in
the hearts of men through reverent and beautiful liturgy, helping men to
rediscover Jesus in the Eucharist each and every Sunday. I ask my brother
priests to teach the faithful about the powerful truth of the liturgy,
especially in ways to which men can relate. Teaching men to understand the
fullness and power of the Mass must be a top priority. What a joy it is for men
of God when they are led by priests who have a confident sense of their own
masculinity, their call to participate in Christ’s spousal love, and their
generous, life-giving fatherhood!
Saints, our Heroes of Faith
This
is what our forefathers, the saints, have done for two millennia. As the Gospel
reveals the reality of masculinity, we can also find it lived out in the heroic
witness of the saints.
Saints
are a kind of continuation of the Gospels and so give us examples of the varied
paths of holiness. Thus, as Jesus shows us the perfection of masculinity, so we
can also find it lived by the saints who were led by Christ. Just as an
aspiring baseball player is inspired at the Baseball Hall of Fame, so must we
men look to those who have gone before us, to look to them for inspiration and
encouragement in fighting the good fight.
Think
of the varied skills and talents of baseball players. A young person may dream
to hit like Babe Ruth, catch and throw like Willie Mays, have the agility of
Henry Aaron, the consistency and hard work of Lou Gehrig and Jackie Robinson.
Young pitchers would dream of pitching like Cy Young and Randy Johnson. As they
see each of these players play the game in different ways, they are inspired to
a love of baseball.
Yet
far greater than a ball game is what Catholic men seek. We look to the saints
as to heroes, striving to live like Christ, united to Him and learning from Him
at the same time. In a dramatic way to which we can relate, the saint’s life
says Ecce homo!, “Here is the man!” This is what St. Paul implies when
he writes, “It is not I who live, but Christ who lives in me” (Galatians 2:20).
Each
man should make a decision to have a patron Saint. While there are many more, I
offer the names of ten saints with whom each and every Catholic man should
become familiar. Next to each saint’s name is listed the virtue with which he
is associated, as well as the sin which opposes that virtue. When we identify
our sin and the needed virtue, we can identify which saint’s intercession will
be particularly helpful:
- Joseph (Trust in God –
selfishness)
- John the Baptist (Humility
– arrogance)
- Paul (Adherence to Truth
– mediocrity)
- Michael the Archangel (Obedience
to God – licentiousness and rebelliousness)
- Benedict (Prayer and
Devotion to God – sloth)
- Francis of Assisi (Happiness
– moralism)
- Thomas More (Integrity –
double-mindedness)
- Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati (Chastity
– lust)
- Josemaría Escrivá (Boldness
– worldly fear)
- Pope St. John Paul II (Defending
the Weak – passivity)
We
don’t even need to look to the distant past to find heroes of the faith. We
witnessed St. John Paul II forgive his would-be assassin, and after recovering
his health, continue tirelessly to call the world to “open wide the doors to
Christ.”[10] Time and
again, he exhorted us, “Be not afraid!” Today in parts of the world where
persecution rages, we are seeing courageous witnesses of truth in the recent
martyrs of Syria, Nigeria, Iraq, and other war-torn countries. We remember our
twenty-one Coptic brothers who, just this past winter, were beheaded on a beach
in Egypt, and as Pope Francis noted, “only because they confessed Christ.”[11]
Men,
we must never believe that holiness and courage are things of the past! You and
I are called to a holiness that shows Christ to the world as our forefathers
have done countless times throughout history, following the inspiration of the
Holy Spirit. Indeed, in this time of evil’s growing boldness, each man must
prepare himself for nothing less than martyrdom, whatever form this may take,
and to instill in his children and grandchildren the willingness to do the
same.
Will
the Lord not continue to inspire men? Of course He will, and He continues to do
so! Our concern is not if the Lord will give us the required strength,
but how He is doing so right now. How is His Spirit moving us to
rise up and reject passivity in a culture of fatherlessness? How is He now
giving us interior strength in a culture of pornography? How is He now
inspiring us to look beyond ourselves and our technology to the peripheries
where Christ is needed? How is the Lord inspiring you and me, right now, to
cast aside concerns for our own comfort, to serve our fellow man, to put out
into the deep, to step into the breach?
I
strongly encourage your familiarity with the lives of the saints. Just as a
young baseball player would lack much having never studied the greats enshrined
in Cooperstown, so we lack much if we are ignorant of the saints who have
preceded us to the infinitely more glorious Halls of Heaven.
The Catholic Man’s Identity
I
wish now to speak to you about our identity in Christ. Most of the holy men I
mentioned above lived in times quite different than our own. They had different
challenges and different callings, but all had one thing in common: Jesus
Christ, who gave them their true identity! Here we recall the wisdom of the
Second Vatican Council: “Jesus Christ reveals man to himself and makes his
supreme calling clear.”[12]
In
subtle ways, we are tempted to look elsewhere for our identity. The opinions of
others, the success of our careers, the number of possessions, toys, sports,
hobbies, clothing, tattoos, homes, and cars – these are all ways that tempt us
to label or identify ourselves in ways outside of Christ. While some of these
must be a part of life to an extent, they are not the core of our being. Having
been purchased by the blood of the Lamb, “our citizenship is in Heaven” (Phil.
3:20). The world cannot possibly give us our true identity; “Whether we live or
whether we die, we are the Lord’s” (Romans 14:8). We must be aware of being
distracted by false identities and remain grounded in Jesus Christ.
Simply
put, our identity is caught up in the identity of the eternal Son of God.
It is received at our baptism as it was clearly exclaimed at the baptism of
Jesus in the Jordan River: “You are my beloved son in whom I am well pleased”
(Mark 1:11). When we speak of conversion, we are speaking about an acceptance
of and growth into this identity. When we speak about sin, we are speaking of
all that takes us away from our identity as beloved sons of the Father. Since
this is our identity – being beloved sons of God the Father – is it
surprising that the devil is waging a fierce battle on masculinity and
fatherhood in our day? The process of Christian conversion includes coming to
know God’s love and experiencing brotherhood with Christ who deepens our
identity as sons of the Father in the Holy Spirit. This is our lifelong goal and
our spiritual battle.
Beloved and Free Sons, Called to the Battle Within
Let
us look to John the Apostle and Beloved Disciple for insights into this battle.
In his first Letter to the Church, St. John speaks of the three-fold temptation
faced by all of us: temptations to the passions of the flesh, to
possessiveness, and to pride (1 John 2: 16-17). Are not all sins tied to these
three temptations? John puts his finger on the battles that each of us must
fight within ourselves. In fact, Christ fights specifically against these
temptations during His encounter with Satan in the desert (Matthew 4), and then
gives us instruction in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 6) on how we are to
fight against them.
Turning
away from the passions of the flesh, Jesus rejected Satan’s offering of bread
in the desert, and in the Sermon on the Mount, twice He instructs us to
fast (Matthew 6:16). Notice that the Lord does not say “if you fast” but
rather “when you fast.” Fasting is training in self-knowledge, a key
weapon for mastery over oneself. If we do not have dominion over our passions,
especially those for food and sex, we cannot possess ourselves and put the
interests of others in front of our own.
Tempting
Jesus to possessiveness, Satan offered Him “all the kingdoms of the world and
the glory of them” (Matthew 4:8), but once again, Jesus refused. This shows us
that Christ calls us to freedom from the temptation to gain the world at the
cost of our souls. Often, Satan tempts not through persons but through objects
like a car, a house, or the latest high-speed technologies. There is no
shortage of messages that tempt us to grasp for happiness through possessions.
We recall how the Rich Young Man left his encounter with Jesus as “sad” because
“he had many possessions” (Luke 18:23). Pope Francis reminds us, “The emptier
the person’s heart is, the more he or she needs to buy, own, and consume.”[13] With
Jesus, we are called to seek out, not to “settle for,” a simplicity of life
which frees us for our mission in Christ.
In
Satan’s third attack upon Jesus in the desert, the Lord was tempted to pride.
Satan enticed our Lord to use his power for selfish purposes, but Jesus
rejected this cross-less glory and chose the path of humility. In the
Sermon on the Mount, He exhorts us to humility not once but twice when He
repeats, “when you pray” (Matthew 6:5). Indeed, the greatest protection from
pride and self-reliance is turning humbly to God in prayer. The new technologies
of social media where we can constantly display and discuss ourselves
can lead to a type of idolatry that consumes us. Honest prayer will keep us
grounded and help us to avoid this temptation.
Men,
this need for pastors to challenge men to the battle within, to the richness of
a committed interior life with God, is nothing new. Listen to the words of St.
John Paul II, when as Archbishop of Krakow he spoke to college students in
1962:
“We
are quite ready to take, or conquer, in terms of enjoyment, profit, gain and
success–and even in the moral order. Then comes the question of giving, and at
this point we hang back, because we are not prepared to give. The element which
is so characteristic under other forms in the spiritual portrait of women is barely
perceptible in men. . . . We have a tendency toward the Nicodemus type of
religious attitude, toward the type of devotion which is characterized maybe
only by superficial discretion but very often also by fear of what others might
think. . . . This male Catholicism is not interior and deep enough; the male
believer does not have a true interior life. . . . we men do not have a deep
enough interior life.”
The
human being is a creature, and therefore in relation to God a receiver
of love and courage before he or she can give it away to others. Nemo potest
dare quod non habet is the famous term the Church developed in Latin for
this fundamental truth. You cannot give what you do not have. Mary our
Mother, the great Receiver of God’s love in her very body is the model for us
as Catholics, but not only Mary—every great Saint, that is, great lover
in the history of our Church. There is no shortcut to holiness, to being the
great Catholic men we are called to be. There is no short-cut past the age-old interior
fight that each of us must engage!
As
we develop in receiving God’s love and mercy in prayer and sacrament, the Lord
gives us sure weapons in the “good fight” St. Paul names when he writes:
Put
on the armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the tactics
of the devil. For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the
principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present
darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens. Therefore, put on the armor of
God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done
everything, to hold your ground. So stand fast with your loins girded in truth,
clothed with righteousness as a breastplate, and your feet shod in readiness
for the Gospel of peace. In all circumstances hold faith as a shield, to quench
all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and
the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (Ephesians 6:11-17)
We
may be tempted to say, “When I get this three-fold battle behind me, I can
start living the life of holiness,” but this is a lie! It is precisely in the
course of this fight that we become holy. As Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati
said, “To live without faith, without a patrimony to defend, without a steady
struggle for truth – that is not living, but existing.” Are you and I merely
existing? Or are we living our Christian faith as men fully alive?
Recall the famous words of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI: “You were not made for
comfort; you were made for greatness.” Any greatness that we might merit as
Catholic men depends upon this fight for holiness. It is the same fight Jesus
Christ fought in the desert and the same fight our Christian forefathers fought
in order to hand down the faith. Woe to us if we do not pick up the weapons of
the Spirit – offered to us freely – and accept them bravely and gratefully!
Courage, confidence, and humble reliance on God’s infinite resources are called
for here as we engage. Forward! Into the breach!
The Practices of a Committed Catholic Man
Given
these reflections on Catholic manhood, we move to the practical, that is, how
to live like a Catholic man. What practices can help us to take up our cross and follow our King?
If
we think of soldiers who do not remain in strong physical and mental shape and
who fail to practice the essential combat arts, we know they will not be ready
for battle and will be a danger to themselves and their comrades in arms. The
same is true for Catholic men; those who do not prepare and strengthen
themselves for spiritual combat are incapable of filling the breach for Christ.
While
there are many habits and devotions that a Catholic man can form, I charge you
with keeping these seven basic practices on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis.
If these practices are not (yet) part of your life, start now!
DAILY
1.
Pray every
day. Each Catholic man must start his
day with prayer. It is said, “Until you realize that prayer is the most
important thing in life, you will never have time for prayer.” Without prayer,
a man is like a soldier who lacks food, water, and ammunition. Set aside some
time to speak with God first thing each morning. Pray the three prayers
essential to the Catholic faith: the Our Father, the Hail Mary, and the Glory
Be. Pray also at every meal. Before food or drink touches your lips, make the
Sign of the Cross, say the “Bless us, O Lord” prayer, and end with the Sign of
the Cross. Do this no matter where you are, with whom or how much you are
eating. Never be shy or ashamed about praying over meals. Never deny Christ the
gratitude that is due to Him. Praying as a Catholic man before every meal is a
simple but powerful way to keep strong and fill the breach.
2. Examine
your conscience before going to sleep.
Take a few moments to review the day, including both your blessings and sins.
Give God thanks for blessings and ask forgiveness for sins. Say an Act of
Contrition.
3.
Go to
Mass. Despite the fact that attending
weekly Mass is a Precept of the Church, only about one in three Catholic men
attend Sunday Mass. For large numbers of Catholic men, their neglect to attend
Mass is a grave sin, a sin that puts them in mortal danger.
The Mass is a refuge in the Spiritual Battle, where Catholic men meet their King, hear His commands, and become strengthened with the Bread of Life. Every Mass is a miracle where Jesus Christ is fully present, a miracle that is the high point not only of the week, but of our entire lives on Earth. In the Mass, a man gives thanks to God for his many blessings and hears Christ send him again into the world to build the Kingdom of God. Fathers who lead their children to Mass are helping in a very real way to ensure their eternal salvation.
4.
Read the
Bible. As St. Jerome so clearly tells us,
“Ignorance of the Sacred Scriptures is ignorance of Christ.” When we read God’s
word, Jesus is present. Married men, read with your wife and your children. If
a man’s children see him read the Scriptures, they are more likely to remain in
the Faith. My brothers in Christ, this I can assure you: men who read the Bible
grow in grace, wisdom, and peace.
5.
Keep the
Sabbath. From the creation of Adam and Eve,
God the Father established a weekly cycle ending with the Sabbath. He gave us
the Sabbath to ensure that one day out of seven we will give thanks to God,
rest, and be refreshed. In the Ten Commandments, God asserts anew the
importance of keeping the Sabbath.
With
today’s constant barrage of buying and selling and the cacophony of noisy
media, the Sabbath is God’s respite from the storm. As Catholic men, you must
begin, or deepen, keeping the holiness of the Sabbath. If you are married, you
must lead your wives and children to do the same. Dedicate the day to rest and
true recreation, and avoid work that is not necessary. Spend time with family,
attend Mass, and enjoy the gift of the day.
MONTHLY
6.
Go to
Confession. At the very start of Christ’s
public ministry, Jesus calls on all men to repent. Without repentance from sin,
there can be no healing or forgiveness, and there will be no Heaven. Large
numbers of Catholic men are in grave mortal danger, particularly given the
epidemic levels of pornography consumption and the sin of masturbation. My
brothers, get to Confession now! Our Lord Jesus Christ is a merciful King who
will forgive those who humbly confess their sins. He will not forgive those who
refuse. Open your soul to the gift of our Lord’s mercy!
7. Build
fraternity with other Catholic men.
Catholic friendship among men has a dramatic impact on their faith lives. Men
who have bonds of brotherhood with other Catholic men pray more, go to Mass and
Confession more frequently, read the Scriptures more often, and are more active
in the Faith.
Proverbs
tells us: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (27:17). I call
on each of our priests and deacons to draw men together in their parishes and
to begin to rebuild a vibrant and transforming Catholic fraternity. I call on
laymen to form small fellowship groups for mutual support and growth in the
faith. There is no friendship like having a friend in Christ.
Question
2: How does a Catholic man love?
Now
let us consider masculine love. This is not easy to do because the word love
has almost lost its meaning in today’s society. It is a word that men have even
become uncomfortable using. Why is this? What does the word now imply? A mere
feeling? Something passing? A four-letter word useful for marketing and
greeting cards but for little else?
Christ
makes clear that central to His mission is love. “Love one another as I have
loved you” (John 15:12) He says with passion, but without a hint of
sentimentality. All of our Lord’s teachings boil down to this command.
Love is not a side-job; it is the mission itself. Yet, we
can only love as we are created, and therefore, we can only love as men.
So, how do men love?
For
decades now, a model for manhood has been fashioned in the fictional British
spy character named James Bond. Various actors have taken turns portraying this
man who, in several adventures, has proposed what it means to be “manly,” yet
Bond remains an enigma. Like the women that he uses in the films, the ones who
watch him find themselves wanting to know him. He is never a father, nor does
he accept responsibility for or love one woman. In him, we see a man whose
relationships are shallow and purely utilitarian. Indeed, “James Bond is a male
character whose name is the height of irony. He is 40 years old and has no
bonds. He is actually pathetic.”[15]
How
different this is from Jesus Christ! Is there fear in Him? Not in the least!
Who is more of a man, the one who runs away or the one who can face the
responsibilities and challenges of relationships, family, and intimacy? Could a
man fearful of self-gift be a true disciple of Christ? In fact, can such a man
love at all?
James
Bond’s name is the height of irony because he is a man with no bonds.
Yet true masculine love will always build bonds! On the Cross and through the
Eucharist, Jesus gives his very blood to bind us to Himself in love. At
the Last Supper, offering us the Eucharist, His prayer to the Father is “that
they may be one even as we are one” (John 17:11).
As He proclaims, His
committed, binding love will “draw all men to himself” (John 12:32). In its
Latin root, the word religion implies “binding together.” Thus, it is no
wonder that in a culture of broken bonds, so fearful of commitment, we often
hear, “I’m spiritual, but not religious.” Satan is also “spiritual, but not
religious”! A man who lives life without a single, self-giving bond in his life
deserves our pity, not our admiration.
In
this context, I must mention what is called machismo and call Catholic
men to rise above this tendency. The display of machismo attempts
to seek safety in an image of toughness and emotionless living. However,
it is merely a thin outer mask covering a deep inner fear of true bonds with
others, bonds that come with true relationship and make one’s life rich and
meaningful. Behind the mask, as any mature person can see, is a man stuck
in adolescent fear of vulnerability. In most cases, he has himself been badly
hurt and is repeating a cycle learned in childhood.
Instead,
the true love of Christ is centered on willing the good of the other, on
pouring oneself out in charity for others. This is how the Son reveals the
Father’s love: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you…This is my
commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you” (John 15: 9, 12).
In Christ, we see that sacrifice is at the heart of love. Only the man who has
fought the interior battle of self-mastery against sterility, the man who lays
down his life for others, can avoid stagnancy and self-absorption. Never doubt
that this sacrifice is worth the suffering! Our Lord encourages men in saying,
“greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his
friends” (John 15:13).
Three Masculine Loves: Friend, Husband, Father
A Friend in Christ – Bands of Brothers
At
the very inception of his ministry here on earth, Jesus called other men to
join Him. What was He teaching us here? We see that Jesus called His disciples
to Himself in such a way that they would form deep bonds of friendship and
brotherhood. At the last supper, He specifically said to them, “No longer do I
call you servants. For the servant does not know what the Master is doing; but
I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made
known to you” (John 15:15). This friendship with God is possible, a true
brotherhood with Jesus, because we have the same Father. Do you, my sons, have
true brothers in Christ in your life?
Throughout
all of history, including the history of Christianity, important movements were
spurred on by bands of brothers, friends in Christ. The Early Church Fathers
St. Gregory Nazianzen and St. Basil were great friends and co-workers in the
defense of Christ as they stood for the truth and defeated early heresies
threatening the Church. St. Benedict and his monastic companions established
communities of men that preserved and furthered Western culture in the face of
barbarian destruction. This veritable fortress protecting truth, goodness, and
beauty was built upon the stable and rich life of Christian brotherhood and
friendship.
St. Francis of Assisi and St. Dominic each started bands of
brothers in service to the poor and in defense of the truth. The early founders
of the Society of Jesus, St. Ignatius of Loyola and St. Francis Xavier,
influenced countless other men, brought about great renewal in the Church, and
evangelized to the furthest reaches of the world. In the 20th
century, we see the friendship between C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien and their
brother “Inklings” as indispensable in the growth and flourishing of their own
literary and apologetic gifts.
What
is friendship? Who is a friend? The Scriptures tell us, “A friend is a friend
at all times, and a brother is born for the time of adversity” (Proverbs
17:17). I am convinced that if men will seek true brotherhood, the adversities
we face today will solidify bands of brothers who will be lauded in Heaven!
Therefore,
men, ask yourself: what are your friends like? Do you have friends with whom
you share the mission of holiness? Often young men will go to the seminary and
discover the difference made by Christ-centered friendships, and their lives
are transformed. This friendship is not limited to religious orders and
priests. The renewal of masculinity cannot happen without banding together as
brothers and true friends. In my own life, ever since my first year as a
priest, I have been richly blessed by brother priests in the Jesus Caritas
Fraternity.[16]
Their
commitment to Eucharistic adoration and simplicity of life, their fidelity to
Christ in celibacy and daily prayer, their fraternal love, wise counsel, and
encouragement have richly influenced and inspired me to persevere in my own
mission in Christ. It has been a joy to see how fraternity in our diocese has
grown and flourished through your participation in our Men’s Conferences,
Knights of Columbus, That Man is You, Cursillo Movement, and other such
groups and events. There is room to grow, of course, but already the fruits of
the Spirit are evident among these Catholic brothers and friends.
Conversely,
we have seen what happens when men, young and old, do not form or sustain
healthy friendships. Many, looking in the wrong places, find themselves in the
false brotherhood of gangs, or without brotherhood at all, isolated and alone,
and lacking these critical formative experiences of accountability and the
trusted fellowship that only true friendship provides.
This has
its effect on marriages where men have no emotional support apart from their
wives, as well as on children, who should see true friends in the lives of
their parents but often do not. What a blessing to have the presence of good
faithful friends to provide the encouragement and accountability we need to be
free! Indeed, as the Scriptures tell us, “as iron sharpens iron, so one
man must sharpen another” (Proverbs 27:17).
Man as Husband – the Purpose of Masculine Erotic Love
Next,
let us seek to understand more deeply man’s calling to spousal love. Every man
is made to live as a husband and a father in some way: “God assigns the
dignity of every woman as a task to every man.”[18] Each man
is called to commit and give of himself completely. For most men, this call is
marriage while for others, this call is to the priesthood or to some other
sincere and total self-gift in God’s service. Yet, in our day, such commitment
is often seen as settling for something conventional, even boring; something
that limits freedom or threatens love. Nothing could be farther from the truth!
Instead, I remind you of the words of St. Josemaría Escrivá: “[T]here is a need
for a crusade of manliness and purity to counteract and nullify the savage work
of those who think man is a beast. And that crusade is your work.”[19]
Preparation
for this sincere and complete spousal gift coincides with a man’s growth into
masculinity. The “single years” of a young man’s life are for this formation,
not a time of mere passive waiting, much less indulgence of sin. “Youth was not
made for pleasure, but for heroism,” says Paul Claudel, the great French
Catholic playwright. I urge you, young men, to prepare for marriage even before
you meet your (future) bride. Such training in sacrifice is to love your bride
before you meet her, so that you may one day say, “Before I knew you, I was
faithful to you.”
Through
spousal love, men live out a strength that endures, a strength for which the
world longs, and a strength that will stabilize a crumbling society. True, this
love is not free from periods of difficulties and suffering. No vocation is!
However, with St. Paul, we “consider that the sufferings of this present time
are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed” (Romans 8:18). There is
glory in man’s calling to be a husband.
When
the great St. John Paul II spoke of a “spousal meaning of the body,” he implied
that we men are all called in some way to spousal love.[20] That is,
a committed love, a love that gives life, seeking the good of those to whom the
man has committed. When a man is called to spousal love in marriage and family
life, the priesthood, or some consecration to the Lord, he is called to a great
and meaningful life. Indeed if we run from this battle because of its
challenges, we will be left empty. Those who arrive at the judgment seat of
God, after this life, without the scars of a sacrificing husband, will “hold
their manhoods cheap whilst any speaks who fought with us.”[21]
Let
me now speak specifically to men called to conjugal love in marriage. This is a
calling to the dignity and beauty of that union that is symbolic of Christ’s
spousal love for the Church. St Paul explains this relationship in his
instruction to husbands, saying:
Husbands,
love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that
He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the
word, that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or
wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so
husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife
loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes
it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body. ‘For
this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery,
and I mean in reference to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5: 25-32)
Marriage
in Christ is not merely a human endeavor. It is higher; it is a “great
mystery.” The human desire for love is, in a way, a longing for infinite and
eternal love. In the Sacrament of Marriage, human love is caught up in the
infinite and eternal love of God.[22] This is
the glory, men! Called to marriage, you are called to be as Christ to your
bride. Because this love unites you and your spouse sacramentally with the infinite
love that Christ has for each of you, your sacramental marriage overcomes the
limits of natural marriage and achieves the infinite and eternal character to
which every love aspires.
Here
we come to the epicenter of the masculine battle in our time, the nexus
of life and love that is God’s gift of sexuality. The need to develop chastity
in your life, my sons, cannot be emphasized enough.
While
much of our culture may not fully understand or encourage this commitment, the
grandeur of spousal love to which we are called, we should in no way be
discouraged. Rather, consider how blessed we are to be called to proclaim this
truth in a time when it is most needed. In doing so, you radiate the light of
Christ in an area of society so darkened by what has always threatened spousal
love. Our Catechism names them clearly: “discord, a spirit of domination,
infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and
separation… self-absorption, egoism, pursuit of one’s own pleasure.”[23] We could
add here the use of pornography, always toxic to both the participants and the
observers, and the consumptive “hook-up” subculture that removes sexual
encounters entirely from the spousal relationship.
How
did it come about that a culture so steadfast in supporting marriage and
spousal commitment two generations ago became a culture that has reduced
sexuality to mere pleasure and self-serving ends? The answer is the Sexual
Revolution. For many, the Sexual Revolution promised “free love” and liberty
from the shackles of old ideas about masculinity and femininity. What resulted
was the separation of sexuality from the commitments of marriage and a
widespread option for sterility (chemical and surgical sterilizations),
amounting to a denial of what is most essentially masculine and feminine in the
person.
Worse, the Sexual Revolution ushered in the scourge of abortion,
pornography, and sexual abuse so rampant in recent decades. Instead of real and
authentic love, this false “liberty” offers cheap pleasures that mask a deeper
loneliness and pain. Instead of the security of traditional family bonds, it
leaves children longing for the stability of a mother’s and a father’s love.
Instead of the freedom that comes with accepting the truth of God’s design for
human love between a man and woman, the Sexual Revolution has arrogantly
rebelled against human nature, a nature that will never thrive in confusion and
lack of self-control. Indeed, the “love” promised by the Sexual Revolution has
never been found. In its wake is wreckage, countless broken hearts bound by
fear of more pain, broken lives, broken homes, broken dreams and broken belief
that love is even possible. This is the rotten fruit of the Sexual Revolution.
It
stands to reason that if love is our deepest desire and longing, destroying
love will cause us the most pain, the deepest wounds. Thus, where do we start?
Where do we begin to rebuild? What do we repair first?
My
sons and brothers, we must begin with ourselves.
If
I may return to the analogy of the athlete, we see that no champion achieves
greatness without discipline in practice or without training to pursue
greatness in his sport. He must be a master of himself; he must possess
self-mastery. For the man called to live conjugal love, this self-mastery finds
its culmination in the virtue of chastity. We need to see masculine chastity
for what it is, whereas too often, this virtue is seen in negative light, as
something weak. Nothing could be more false! Chastity is strength and a
rejection of slavery to the passions. Christians have always believed that chastity, whether in marriage or celibacy, is a freedom from the
enslavement to sin and our passions.
To
understand chastity, we must understand God: “God is love and in Himself He
lives a mystery of personal loving communion. Creating the human race in His
own image… God inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the vocation, and
thus the capacity and responsibility, of love and communion.”[24] The love
we live as men is a participation in and a demonstration of God’s love. As
equal sharers in dignity, women, of course, also demonstrate God’s love, and
yet there is a difference in how we do so. For both men and women, “Sexuality
affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his body and soul. It
especially concerns affectivity, the capacity to love and to procreate, and in
a more general way the aptitude for forming bonds of communion with others.”[25] The
virtue of chastity is the…
“…integration
of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily
and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man’s belonging to the bodily and
biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is
integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and
lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman.”[26]
Chastity
allows us to master and properly live out this calling to be men of authentic
communion.
Here,
let me recall Jesus’ crucial words regarding “everyone who looks at a woman
lustfully”; he has “already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew
5:28). This leads me to call specific attention to those acts that are
(wrongly) considered “normal” and even encouraged for men in today’s culture.
Here I am speaking of pornography and masturbation. The damaging effects of
these hidden and narcissistic habits train the man in a direction that is the
exact opposite of love. He learns nothing more than to use others. Instead of
life-giving and self-emptying love, he learns to settle for self-absorbed,
sterile pleasures. Recall again Jesus’ words:
You
have heard it said ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that
everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her
in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out, and throw
it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole
body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it
off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than
for your whole body to go into hell. (Matthew 5:27-30)
With
these prophetic words, Jesus foresees modern pornography that feeds the lust of
the eyes. He uses hyperbole, strong words, for men to gouge out their eye and
cut off their hand in order to drive home that urgent action is needed.
Pornography not only leaves a man in danger of Hell, but it also destroys the
bonds with his spouse, a destruction wrought like adultery. In other words,
think of pornography as just as serious and no less grave than adultery. To
attempt to love another person while engaging in this practiced narcissism,
without being transformed by mercy, will surely bring grave harm.
When
battling pornographic temptations, it is important to consider honestly the
factors surrounding the temptation. For most men, these include loneliness,
boredom, anger, insecurity, and stress. Simply understanding the context of a
temptation prompts us to invite God to send His grace to begin to overcome the
devil’s tactics. The Sacrament of Confession is the place of
superabundant grace and support. Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8). This is not a promise merely to be
attained in Heaven! This promise is to begin for us now, in our everyday lives.
The saints attest to this truth. Through building purity of heart, men, you
will not only see God in the women in your lives but also in yourselves, also
the “image of God”! Even if the darkness seems insurmountable, Christ never
abandons us. As a priest, I treasure the honest encounter in confession with
those who want the Lord’s healing. It is a blessing to work with men in the
fight to turn the tide from false to real love.
Imagine
with me how different our world would be for our wives, sisters, and daughters
if men lived this interior strength of chastity. In our time, we hear of such
high rates of sexual assaults in our society, especially on college campuses. Is
this not a time for a renewal of masculine chastity? Is this not a time for men
to build up the virtue of temperance through fasting and prayer amidst
brothers? Is this not a time to consider more deeply St. John Paul II’s
proclamation that the “dignity of every woman is a task given to every
man?”
Masculine
chastity is a “long and exacting work” that we should be proud to undertake![27] Imagine
standing before the throne of God on judgment day, where the great saints of
ages past, who themselves dealt with preeminent sins in their own day, will say
to each other, “We dealt with the trouble of lust in our day, but those 21st
century men! These happy few battled the beast up close!” We can help each
other and other men around us to strive for self-mastery, as this is best
addressed among brothers. I encourage you to put aside your fears and
insecurities, those that keep you from engaging head on in the fight for
chastity. Christ wants to help men be formed after His own heart in each
confessional of the Church and at each Mass where the power of His Blood poured
out on the Cross offered in Holy Communion. Only a man formed after His own
heart can “show us the father” (John 14:8).
Question
3: Why is fatherhood, fully
understood, so crucial for every man?
Fatherhood is Essential
Fatherhood
changes history. In the Gospel according to Matthew, where “Abraham was the
father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah
and his brothers…” forty-two (42) fathers lead up to Joseph, the adoptive
father of Jesus. In the words of St. John Paul II, fatherhood is essential to
the flourishing of the world:
In
revealing and in reliving on earth the very fatherhood of God (cf. Eph 3:15), a
man is called upon to ensure the harmonious and united development of all the
members of the family: he will perform this task by exercising generous
responsibility for the life conceived under the heart of the mother, by a more
solicitous commitment to education, a task he shares with his wife (cf. Gaudium
et spes, 52), by work which is never a cause of division in the family but
promotes its unity and stability, and by means of the witness he gives of
an adult Christian life which effectively introduces the children into the
living experience of Christ and the Church.[28]
All
men are called to fatherhood in some way: Becoming
mothers and fathers really means to be fully realized, because it is to become
similar to God. This is not said in the newspapers, it does not appear, but it
is the truth of love. Becoming dad and mom makes us more like God…you are
called to remind everyone that all the baptized, even though in a different
way, are called to be a father or mother.[29]
Like
masculinity itself, perhaps fatherhood has never been a widely-pondered topic
among the philosophers because it has always been presumed, its meaning fairly
obvious. This is no longer true. In his book, Crossing the Threshold of Hope,
St. John Paul II writes of the attack on fatherhood in modern society: “This is
truly the key for interpreting reality […] original sin, then, attempts to
abolish fatherhood.”[30]
The great
pontiff of the family points to our first parents’ original act of
disobedience, which cost them and us our original innocence and freedom from
bodily death, and in original sin, we find a primordial rebellion against God’s
fatherhood, a desire to remove fatherhood itself. This is our enemy’s
underlying plan: to remove our reliance on God, the benevolent Father. To do
this, Satan’s primary strategy is to damage and abolish human fatherhood, in
the man and relationship where each of us first glimpses what God’s fatherhood
might be like.
Today’s
attack on fatherhood, and by extension, motherhood, is multi-pronged and
breathtakingly damaging. 41% of children are born into unmarried homes in our
day, an increase of 700% from 1950, when the out-of-wedlock birthrate was a
mere 6%. These children are not fatherless because of some sweeping physical
conflict, like World War II, which caused many wounds of fatherlessness, but
rather because, far worse, fathers’ own willed absence is happening on a
massive scale. It is not hard to see how men’s fears of fatherhood find a
legion of support in today’s culture of self, encouraging men to flee from this
beautiful gift in pursuit of their own desires. The child is forced to ask the
question: “Where is my Daddy?” What then is the impact on a child’s heart, on
his or her understanding of the world, of love, and of the Heavenly Father,
when the answer to this question is “He left us,” or “I don’t know,” or “From
the sperm bank, and he left no contact address”?
Catholic
men also contribute far too regularly to this same scandal that devastates the
heart of a child and makes too many women in our culture live as if they were
widows! The ache of the fatherless child’s heart cries out to Heaven: “He will
not ignore the supplication of the fatherless, nor the widow when she pours out
her story…and the Lord will not delay, neither will He be patient with them,
till He crushes the loins of the unmerciful and repays vengeance on the
nations” (Sirach 35:14, 18). Why do the widows and the fatherless cry out? They
have lost their protectors and providers! There is an unnatural void of the one
called upon by God “to ensure the harmonious and united development of all the
members of the family.”[31] It is
because of this loss, this void caused by men’s absence, that we have always
naturally, traditionally, lamented fatherlessness.
There
are those in our culture today, however, who do not want us to see
fatherlessness as unnatural or lamentable. Do not be fooled by those voices
wishing to erase all distinctions between mothers and fathers, ignoring the
complementarity that is inherent in creation itself. Men, your presence and
mission in the family is irreplaceable! Step up and lovingly, patiently take up
your God-given role as protector, provider, and spiritual leader of your home.
A father’s role as spiritual head of the family must never be understood or
undertaken as domination over others, but only as a loving leadership and a
gentle guidance for those in your care. Your fatherhood, my fatherhood, in its
hidden, humble way, reflects imperfectly but surely the Fatherhood of God, the
Father to those whom the Lord has given us to father.
What
does it mean to “father”? In a reflection on fatherhood, Pope Francis explains:
“When a man does not have this desire [for fatherhood], something is missing in
this man. Something is wrong. All of us, to exist, to become complete, in order
to be mature, we need to feel the joy of fatherhood: even those of us who are
celibate. Fatherhood is giving life to others, giving life, giving life.”[32] This is
why fatherhood – living out one’s vocation to fatherhood, whether that
fatherhood is bound up in physical marriage or spiritual marriage in the
priesthood or religious life – is absolutely essential for a man to live out
the fullness of his meaning in life. We speak of the Church Fathers, the Desert
Fathers, our pope as Holy Father, and, for good reason, our priests as
“Father”.
To
fully live, all men must be fathers and live out their fatherhood! We cannot
“become like God,” my sons and brothers, without this understanding and this
movement of the heart followed by decisive action. If you do not embrace the
spousal and fatherly vocation God has planned for you, you will be stuck in the
impotence of the “seed” that refuses to die and refuses to give life. Don’t
settle for this half-life! The question for every man is not, “Am I called to
be a father?” but rather, “What kind of father am I called to be?”
Grandfathers, You Are of Great Importance
I
wish to speak a word to you who are grandfathers. Few cultures have ever
expected less and shown such indifference to those like you who have battled
and who have tested wisdom to offer their children and grandchildren. The world
tells you that your time of influence is at an end and that it is time to
retire, that is, to resign your post of fatherhood. Don’t
believe it! Grandfathers matter greatly.
I have the privilege of being named after my grandfathers: Thomas Tighe Olmsted
and P. James Hughes. Each in his own way fathered me alongside my own Dad.
Grandpa Jim drew upon his Catholic faith to face with dignity and hope the
early death of his wife, my grandmother, from cancer. Without giving into
despair or self-pity, he struggled mightily to keep the family of six together
and to provide for the children – the youngest of whom was my mother – during
the very difficult years of the Great Depression. The memories I treasure most
about Grandpa Jim were of his peaceful spirit, his Irish humor, and his sincere
devotion to the Church. Grandpa Tom had an even greater impact on my life, even
though he was never baptized.
Beside him, I learned to care for walnut trees
and watermelons, pumpkins and squash, horses and cattle, chickens and hogs.
Amidst the many activities needed to make a living on our farm, I learned from
Grandpa Tom and my Dad the importance of being a good neighbor, of telling the
truth no matter the cost, and of having a deep respect for “Mother Nature.”
When I was ordained a priest, I chose a biblical saying for my First Mass card,
one that captured what I had learned from my grandfathers: “This is what the
Lord asks of you: only this, to act justly, to love tenderly and to walk humbly
with your God” (Micah 6:8).
Grandfathers,
you are an essential and treasured gift to your families, and I encourage you
to continue to be strong for them, to share your wisdom with them, and to fight
for them. Remember Jesus’ earthly grandfather, St. Joachim, who lived a life
faithful to God. In his advanced years, God the Father blessed St. Joachim and
his wife, St. Anne, with the great gift of Mary, our Blessed Mother. Let every
grandfather be reminded that even when the routine of daily life may appear to
be insignificant, we never know what great plans God has for the last years of
our lives.
Hope in the Shadows of Lost Fatherhood
I
would now like to say a special word to those of you, my sons, who have
suffered the absence of your own father. There are many reasons why men abandon
their responsibilities, or even if they remain, stay distant, as a result of
the lack of positive experience of fatherhood in their own lives. This wound in
your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly fatherlessness is never God’s
plan. Do not give in to discouragement, however, and do not lose hope.
The
Church is always called to reveal God the Father. Allow Christ to show you the
Father who never abandons his children, but rather offers his only begotten
Son. If you have not already done so, allow Christ to guide you in order to see
your father as He sees him. Jesus will not leave you without the grace
necessary to forgive and heal your father. This may happen in conjunction with
the graces offered to you through your spiritual fathers, your priests, in the
Sacrament of Reconciliation. Through your discovery of the Fatherhood of God,
our loving, eternal Father, you will be witnesses to the only fatherhood that
never fails.[33]
Finally,
I want to offer a special word for those men who know that they have failed in
their fatherhood. This is true to a greater or lesser degree in each and every
one of us. This can happen through addiction, abandonment, marital conflict,
emotional and spiritual detachment, failing to guide the family in faith,
abortion, physical and/or emotional abuse, or the countless ways that we
obscure the image of God as the loving Father.
I stand with you as an imperfect
father, asking God the Father to make up for the ways that we fail in this
greatest of masculine missions. It is important to acknowledge the enemy’s
tactics; Satan will attempt to drag us down into a despair that can lead us to
abandon our fatherhood even further because of our sins. Yet we must never give
up, my sons! Pray and be renewed in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Christ
strengthens us through Confession and the Holy Eucharist to spend ourselves in
rebuilding fatherhood in whatever way possible.
Conclusion: Sent Forth by Christ
The best friend of St. Gregory Nazianzen was St. Basil. When, as young men in
their early 20s, their personal search for a deeper understanding of the
Christian faith led them by separate paths to Constantinople, they soon
developed a deep respect for one another. St. Gregory’s description of this
friendship is hopeful: “…if this is not too much for me to say, we were a rule
and standard for each by which we learned the distinction between what was
right and what was not.”[34]
Their
friendship inspired each to grow in virtue and freedom, to be less concerned
for self and more eager to place his life at the service of others. I hope that
each man reading this Exhortation will experience, if he has not already done
so, the blessing of good friendships like the ones between the saints. I cannot
imagine what my own life would be like without the good friends God has given
me.
I
hope, too, that you will take what is helpful in my message, bring it to the
Lord in prayer, and go forward confidently in your vocation as men. Our life in
Christ is not one of “do’s and don’ts,” but an adventure in authentic freedom.
Embrace that freedom in order to place your life at the service of Christ,
beginning in your home and radiating into the world.
Where is the Faith of our Fathers now?
As
I write this exhortation, videos are being released documenting the barbaric
practice of selling baby body parts by Planned Parenthood. Since this infamous
agency receives around half a billion dollars each year from the U.S.
Government, funds to carry on their slaughter of innocents, no American
citizen, and certainly no man, can remain silent about this travesty of our
times. We need to get off the sidelines and stand up for life on the front
lines. We need faith like that of our fathers who defended the children of
previous generations and who gave up their own lives rather than abandon their
faith in Christ. My sons and brothers, men of the Diocese of Phoenix, we need
you to step into the breach!
The
Catholic martyrs of England inspired Frederick W. Faber to write the hymn
“Faith of our Fathers” in AD 1849. As Faber paid tribute to the men who refused
to deny Christ “in spite of dungeon, fire, and sword,” he also issued a call to
arms for the men of succeeding generations.
Join me in praying that we, men of
the 21st century, will make the words of this verse our own:
“Our
Fathers, chained in prisons dark,
Were still in heart and conscience free:
How sweet would be their children’s fate,
If they, like them, could die for Thee!
Faith of our Fathers! Holy Faith!
We will be true to thee till death.”
Were still in heart and conscience free:
How sweet would be their children’s fate,
If they, like them, could die for Thee!
Faith of our Fathers! Holy Faith!
We will be true to thee till death.”
Promulgated
on the Feast of the Archangels, September 29, 2015
+Thomas
J. Olmsted
Bishop of Phoenix
Bishop of Phoenix
[1]
Center for Applied Research into the Apostolate.
http://cara.georgetown.edu/caraservices/requestedchurchstats.html
[3]
Pope St. John Paul II, Ecclesia in America, 3, 5
[4]
Interview, September 19, 2013
[5]
There are, of course, rare exceptions to the genetic rule. We are aware of the
exceptions due to genetic defect or insufficient hormonal development. For
example, Turner’s Syndrome in girls and Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome or XXY
Syndrome in boys cause situations which are very painful in the individual
lives of these young men and women and their families. I pray that Catholic
researchers, psychologists, and physicians would be at the forefront of
studying these phenomena and providing ethical counsel, care, and support to
these individuals and families.
[6] Homily, June 14, 2015
[7] Gaudium et spes, 32
[8] General Audience, April 15,
2015.
[9] John 12:27, Mark 22:15
[10] Opening mass, October 22, 1978
[11] February 2015
[12] Gaudium et spes, 22
[13] Laudato Si, 204
[15] Dr. Paul Vitz, Lecture,
February 21, 2015
[16] See Appendix for description
and call to form these groups among laymen.
[17] Social Isolation in America:
Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades.
http://www.jstor.org/stable/30038995
[18] Pope St. John Paul II, Catechesis
on Human Love, 100:6
[19] St. Josemaría Escrivá, The
Way
[20] Pope St. John Paul II, Catechesis
on Human Love, 14:5
[21] Shakespeare, Henry V.iv.3
[22] Gaudium et spes, 48
[23] Catechism of the Catholic
Church, 1606
[24] Catechism of the Catholic
Church, 2331
[25] Catechism of the Catholic
Church, 2332
[26] Catechism of the Catholic
Church, 2337
[27] Catechism of the Catholic
Church, 2342
[28] Pope St. John Paul II, Familiaris
Consortio, 25
[29] Pope Francis, Address, June 15,
2015
[30] Pope St. John Paul II, Crossing
the Threshold of Hope, New York: Knopf, 1994, 228
[31] Familiaris Consortio, 25
[32] Homily, June 26, 2013
[33] Adapted from Evangelium
Vitae, 99
[34] “On St. Basil the Great,” Funeral
Orations (The Fathers of the Church, Vol. 22), 27
No comments:
Post a Comment